Bittersweet (Xcite Romance) Read online

  Evan smiled in the face of my impetuous inquiry. ‘I’m crazy for you,’ he said in a breathless admission. ‘I’ve been into you since the first week I came to work for your husband.’

  ‘Why?’ The simple question surprised me as much as it did him.

  He flopped onto the step and reclined under the afterglow of orgasm. ‘Because, you are impossible to ignore. When you walk into the room, Sabrina, I want to know what you’re going to say. It’s endlessly entertaining to watch the way you dissect the world from the safety of your perch.’

  ‘Some people would say that’s what they hate about me.’

  ‘No, that’s just because they don’t understand you.’

  ‘And you think you understand me? How is that possible? We barely know each other.’

  ‘I hope that’s only a temporary condition,’ he replied, smiling in the kind of way that made me know he’d do all he could to ensure that it was.

  We awoke to the glare of a whitewashed landscape, beautifully fresh like a clean rebirth of the land. And I felt revived and new, even with my legs sore from the prior night’s action. We’d fallen asleep together on the sofa, having fucked like fevered banshees through most of the night. I took every bit of pleasure Evan had to offer and tucked it into my memory for a rainy day. Still, even after our second night, I braced myself against the idea that he might not stay through until the end. After all, it was an impossible situation that Keith – no, that I was asking Evan – to navigate and perhaps more than anyone deserved.

  Evan was good from head to toe. His spirit was as pure and giving as any person I’d ever met. We were snowed in together for that entire next day – all three of us. With a refrigerator now properly stocked and a knowledgeable cook in the house, we ate well and enjoyed the conversation even more, thanks to Evan. And when the ploughs finally came to clear the two feet that fell in the blizzard, he insisted that we pile into the Rover for a drive up to Bear Mountain to get some fresh air and enjoy the view. It was a good idea

  Keith was in a great mood, better than I’d seen in a long while. He breathed in the air around him like it was the most precious thing in existence, and I too know now just how precious it is. It made me want to find a way to keep him feeling that good. And I knew the one thing that always brought him joy, beyond anything else, was teaching.

  ‘Take a right up here,’ I told Evan as we approached the country inn that bordered the park. The log cabin structure and rocking chairs on the porch were as American pie as it gets. The locale was an ironic choice for the idea I’d hashed, making me giggle slightly at the delicious spontaneity of it all.

  Neither of them questioned my motives when I suggested we check into a room. Keith took care of the transaction and the white-haired desk attendant seemed more than a bit confused by the curious threesome with no luggage making their way to the elevator.

  ‘Gentlemen, we are about to go to school,’ I announced with a sly grin once the doors slid closed.

  Keith only smiled, knowing exactly what I had in mind. On many occasions, in the name of pure lusty fun, Keith and I would play our own version of teacher’s pet. It was well after we’d married when I purchased a rather tacky schoolgirl outfit online, meant as a joke for Halloween. But when I tried the thing on, neither one of us could dismiss the irresistible kink factor, given our story. We fucked like horny teenagers that night all over the house, trading the ringing doorbell for a generously stuffed bowl of candy on the front stoop.

  The room was modestly furnished with a simple reading chair and a king-sized bed. But the view of the snow-covered mountains beyond an icy lake was breathtaking.

  Keith’s eyes were brimming with intensity as he readily slipped into his role. ‘Take a seat, please, both of you.’

  I whispered to Evan, ‘Better do what he says; it’s your first day of class.’

  Evan hesitated for just a moment, making sense of what was going on. With my smiling face all the encouragement he needed to play along, he sat next to me on the edge of the bed.

  ‘The subject today is how to please Sabrina,’ Keith announced.

  ‘My favourite subject,’ I exclaimed and Evan promptly got the drift.

  ‘I think I already had this class,’ he joked, rubbing my leg.

  Keith gave me a wink. ‘This is an advanced course. I can assure you that you haven’t studied this subject matter before.’

  ‘Don’t piss off the professor, Evan. He’ll flunk you.’ I could see Evan processing the idea of participating in our special game. Which, by the way, we hadn’t played since before the accident. He could see the glimmer in Keith’s eyes and the anticipation glowing in my own.

  Finally he said, ‘I wouldn’t want that,’ and jumped right in. It was for Keith, and he was more than willing to afford him that little bit of satisfaction. For all his seriousness, Keith had a very dry sense of humour and role-playing fit his knack for playing things perfectly straight.

  ‘Good, let’s get started then,’ Keith continued calmly. ‘Help her get undressed.’

  Evan did as told, grinning slightly.

  ‘To know what Sabrina wants is to know how she thinks,’ Keith started with a hand stroking his chin. ‘Right now, she’s thinking about whether she has been a good wife to me.’

  I looked over at him, surprised by the statement. Suddenly I realised that this game would be quite different from times past. This game would have its roots in reality ... and it would be more for me than him, after all.

  Keith continued, ‘She’s wondering if she’ll have enough time to make sure I know that she loves me.’

  ‘I want that more than anything,’ I said, breathless with the truth of it.

  ‘I can tell her that she needn’t feel guilty about anything all day long and it wouldn’t help.’

  ‘I’ve tried to tell her also,’ Evan added.

  ‘Sabrina, would you like to be corrected? Would that make you feel better?’

  I understood. ‘Yes, I think it would.’

  ‘Come to me and take your punishment.’

  My enthusiasm was born flagrantly of my face. ‘And then?’

  ‘And then Evan will treat you to the consolation you deserve. Won’t you, Evan?’

  He only nodded, stricken by the whole scenario.

  Nude, I walked over to him and dutifully bent over his lap, bracing myself on the arm of his wheelchair. It was a familiar stance, having formerly been performed over Keith’s leather desk chair on several special occasions. Spanking always had a way of making me feel freed of pressure and stress. Something about the loss of control under the hand of someone I loved and trusted was liberating after a long day at work. There was also the fiery dynamic between Keith and I that made such shows of domination elevate his sex appeal to new heights. We didn’t do it often, but when we did, it always made for a memorable occasion. When my punishment was over, pleasure would be next, plentiful and elaborate – worth every bit of the pain. As I took the position, I was already creaming.

  Softly he stroked the surface of my bare ass, circling my cheeks with his palm. ‘Evan, watch carefully. You’ll need to know exactly how this is done.’

  ‘I’m taking notes,’ he said, and though it was a light-hearted remark, the smoulder in his voice caught my attention.

  Then it came, the first whack of his palm stinging my skin. I felt some bit of the guilt I’d been feeling over my self-pity fall away – absolved by my penance. And I was looking forward to another. Keith took his time, rubbing my bottom as he spoke.

  ‘I’m spanking you for all the times you thought about why this had to happen to us.’ He spanked me again, hard. ‘That was because there is nothing you can do to make me better again.’

  Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as he spoke those words, enveloping me in their ironic sweetness.

  ‘I’m spanking you for every occasion you thought of Evan when you were laying next to me in bed, wishing I would fuck you again.’ With every crack of his hand, I
experienced a new level of absolution from guilt and the words he spoke made those salty drops trickle down my face.

  ‘More,’ I sobbed.

  Keith didn’t disappoint me, stinging my cheeks with a steady, yet measured pace that made my heart pound. Then it was over and he lifted my chin to his.

  ‘Feel better?’ he asked, but it was a rhetorical question. A kiss on his lips sealed the answer. ‘Now, Evan, she wants to be shown how perfect she is. Do you think you can do that for me?’

  His cock pushing forward against his pants hinted of his response. ‘I’d love to.’

  I kissed Keith once again before leaving him to watch as my reddened buttocks swayed across the room. Evan waited at the edge of the bed, patiently, until I stepped between his parted legs.

  ‘Kiss her tenderly, Evan, like she is the most delicate thing in the world.’

  At once, he began affixing soft kisses to the goosebumps encouraged by cool air on my skin, each one causing me to shiver. He held me steady in his hands, grasping my hips firmly and playing his lips everywhere they would reach. And then the very tip of his tongue ventured a taste of the places he blessed. I tossed my head back and let my arms hang free, away from my arching torso. I let him take all the time he wanted to shower me with his wet caresses and he gave me all the time I needed to feel uplifted by them.

  Though Keith intended him to do more for me than that. ‘Show her that same tenderness in the way you make love to her.’

  One gentle tug of my hand had me toppling onto the bed beside him. Through the loose strands of hair that fell into my face, I watched him strip away his jeans and shirt. The sun reflecting off the lake set the room ablaze, making his lean frame seem only a silhouette of graceful lines. He slipped on top of me, cradling my body in his warmth and filling me slowly with the length of him.

  I inhaled sharply upon its complete entry and he sought my tongue with his own, withdrawing ahead of his next languid stroke.

  ‘Mmmm ... you are amazing, Sabrina.’ The words were accompanied by his fingers tracing the contour of my face.

  I smiled and he dove into me again, making me cry out at the pure deliciousness of his cock.

  Keith’s instructions resumed, telling more of my secrets. ‘Now blow softly on her collarbone and roll her nipples between your fingers. She loves that – don’t you, sweetheart?’

  ‘Yes ... you know I do,’ I breathed in between moans.

  ‘Bite her there; just at the place it meets her shoulder – softly, like you want to steal a piece of her to have forever.’

  It was surreal to have Evan play out the familiar sensations Keith had been responsible for over the past five years. And he was good at it – well on his way to earning an A in my book.

  But I thought that I’d like to have the real deal, or as much of him as I could. ‘Come closer, Keith,’ I told him. ‘You can’t reach me from over there.’

  Keith hesitated for only a moment before wheeling towards us. His eyes were narrowed and his lips were pressed together with focus. He’d agreed to participate in a threesome if it was what Evan and I wanted and from the look on Evan’s face, it was clear he was all for it.

  ‘Help her up,’ Keith instructed with a whisper. I took to my feet on the bed, standing directly over Keith. He reached around my legs and guided me down to my knees. The modest height of the simple bed frame placed my cunt at his face, as perfectly positioned as either of us could hope. And when his tongue met the silky surface of my swollen clit, I was beside myself with utter gratitude for the chance to feel him connect with me again.

  ‘I love you, Keith,’ I cried out with pure spontaneity. Suddenly I had to tell him. ‘Oh, my God, I love you so much.’

  He stopped only to return, ‘I know you do, sweetheart.’ And he signalled Evan to ease behind me, adding support to my quivering body. I leaned against him, feeling his erection impress my ass cheek. It was hot and wet still from my plentiful juices. Keith worked his tongue over my pussy with the expertise of personal experience, as there was no one better acquainted with the anatomy of my pleasure. With a long lick from my entry to the tip of my clit, he raised his eyes to me and nodded just slightly.

  I melted at the suggestion. I’d never verbalised my fantasy for the uniquely arousing opportunity presented, but as usual, Keith knew me better than I knew myself. I reached behind me, took hold of Evan’s dick and guided it between my legs.

  Evan was ready and went into action with little encouragement needed. He easily slipped back inside me, where his thick cock was received with enthusiasm. I let my head fall back against him as he grabbed my hips, steadying my frame against his thrusts; all the while Keith twirled his tongue round my throbbing clit.

  Every part of my body was ignited with Evan’s mouth now exploring my neck. In that moment, I experienced sensations more delectable than I could have ever imagined. The angle at which Evan’s cock pushed inside me sent electric pulses through my core, touching the very spot that would no doubt produce a back-wrenching orgasm. His breath came hard through his open mouth, past his lips and tongue as his own rise to the pinnacle beckoned. And Keith smothered my pussy with an endless kiss, ushering me over the edge. I gripped his head, shuddering against the waves of his tongue and clutching the girth of Evan’s cock, who churned it ever faster, and my spasms gave cause for his release.

  When we were fully spent, I released Keith’s head and cupped his face in my hand. ‘You will be mine forever, my love.’

  He placed his hand on top and squeezed softly. ‘If only we had forever, sweetheart.’

  I produced a tortured smile and kissed his lips before reaching back to Evan with another for him.

  ‘That was amazing. Thank you.’

  He shook his head. ‘My pleasure.’

  We drove home in silence, not because there was tension in the air – quite the opposite. Each of us had a smile playing lightly on our lips as we relived the episode in our minds. There was no need to speak. The reverie of naked pleasure still lingered. Truly, I was swept away by it and knew that the memory would be tucked into my permanent collection of remarkable events.

  Keith happily discovered that he could still play a major part in my pleasure. The realisation was hard to come by from someone who had been suddenly stricken with impotence. I believe Keith had been afraid to be sexual with me from the moment he knew his penis would not be the source of his sexuality. In so many ways, a man’s sexual identity is tied to his erection. Without it, Keith experienced a disconnection that could not be repaired. But in that generic guest room at the inn, Keith found that he could be included in my pleasure and that it just might be enough to give him the legitimacy he desired.

  It was a sad irony that, only when Keith came to share his impending doom and the clock ticked relentlessly on the last valuable moments we’d be allowed to share, would he discover the road to recovering some part of what he had lost.

  We didn’t squander another minute. Keith brought me as many orgasms as he could manage, revelling in each of them; sometimes with Evan’s assistance and sometimes without. He was smiling again, happy and bright. More importantly, he seemed at ease, laughing with us over leisurely dinners and engaging in deep discussions over the nightly news. He was like his old self in so many regards. But the tumour had other ideas and soon headaches began to eat away at his newfound energy.

  As Keith got worse, I did what I could to make him comfortable, both physically and mentally. We spent hours together, talking – reminiscing on the lawn in the crisp sun of early spring. Sitting in my lounge chair, feet in his lap sorting through our life, we laughed more than we cried. That time was as much about me permanently engraving his smile in my consciousness as it was about giving him solace. And he didn’t let me forget how much I loved him.

  Evan was around a lot, sleeping over most nights and helping to keep the atmosphere light with his easy way. As it turned out, Keith was quite good at playing Cupid and had selected the perfect match for me. Eva
n continued to demonstrate the beauty in patience and the pragmatism of serendipity. We were getting to know each other well beyond the amazing sex we shared. We did the household errands together and took Keith to the doctor together. His laid-back nature produced an incredibly stress-free environment. The intensity that defined my love with Keith was replaced with a sense of calm when I was with him. Our relationship was completely different in every way from my marriage, for exactly the reasons I needed it to be. Once again, Keith was right.

  ‘Why don’t I cook dinner tonight?’ Evan suggested one evening, rummaging in the refrigerator.

  ‘That sounds nice. I can do with a break from take out,’ I told him.

  ‘Will Keith be joining us?’ He held up three steaks from the freezer.

  ‘I’m not sure. His head was really hurting him this afternoon. When it gets like that, he just wants to stay in bed and sleep.’

  ‘So, it’s just us then?’

  ‘I suppose. I’ll check on him in a few.’

  Evan put two of the steaks on the counter and turned to me with his lips pressed together.

  ‘What?’ I asked rhetorically, knowing exactly the scenario crossing his mind.

  ‘You know what,’ he said, moving closer, rolling up his sleeves.

  I had to smile. The look in his eyes was unmistakable and I wasn’t about to ignore it. ‘A little appetiser?’ I teased, leaning against the kitchen table.

  ‘For you, or for me?’

  ‘Perhaps we could both use a little something.’ I was already slipping out of my yoga pants.

  He pushed me onto the large reclaimed oak farm table that I’d imagined would be scattered with Cheerios and crayons by now. And I spread my legs readily as his fingers slipped inside. We were rushed, making haste to be together under the pressure of borrowed time. With the circumstances of Keith’s deterioration, I had begun to experience the nagging shadows of guilt every time I managed a smile in his absence.

  Evan slurped at my lips while his fingers did their magic. Stealthily, he slid them past my delicate folds amidst a slippery celebration of his proficient technique, his increasing rhythm making me plead for more.